A grade desert…

My daughter is doing home economics cookery for one of her G,C,S,E   she also has a love for Nigella. She has not found it easy and is not the most organised of people and often tells me at the last  minute that she needs cooking ingredients,which drives me mad. So when she tells me the teacher moans at her i can understand why.

Well as the year has gone on i have seen she can produce some beautiful food although she is still so unorganized,so we have tried to be more on the ball,although the teacher still picks faults and has at times been i feel very unforgiving. Her grades  have been given on organisation and not on taste or presentation which has been very disheartening to a teenager.

Some months into the second year and wow she has done so well yet the grades are still so unfair,but she has decided she no longer wants to follow a career in catering and she has been very relaxed and not so stressed that the teacher has a dislike for her.I have not taken it so well and made a visit to the school,it turns out the teacher in question is not a chef or a qualified cook,she simply has a qualification that says she can teach children how measure and use an oven. My daughter has had her dreams shatterd because she has been told she is doing things wrong and not using the correct ingredients,when in fact if the teachers took a look at the way the chefs and likes of Nigella cook they would see that things have certainly changed.

We have encouraged and practiced and done things the way the teachers has said things should be done and yet nothing has changed,the teacher has made up her mind that my daughter is a cook and will never make a chef,This has been a hard pill to swallow for my daughter,her grade has been given and will not be changed.

This brings me to valentines dinner i made a lovely meal and Lauren offered to make desert,she was left for an hour to what i can only describe as wreck my kitchen. She produced a desert that even Nigella would have been blown away with. All i can say is her teacher can have her opinion after all Jamie Oliver is not a chef or Nigella but everyone loves them and the wonderful recipes they produce,they have all taken an old recipe and revamped it added a twist of there own. 

NEVER HAVE THE TV ON WHEN THE KIDS ARE TALKING LESSON LEARNT!!!

Teenage twin girls is like having a blender without a lid, stuff is going to fly everywhere. Now my girls are the absolute apple of my eyes but at times they dance on the boundaries iv set them. I’m always on hand to listen and offer my advice, and iv learnt that when listening  to them facial expressions are advisable, and the odd ooh ahhhs always good, but on occasions they catch me out. Like the time they got invited to a party i remember we talked about dresses, makeup shoes.(I think maybe the TV was on at which point yes you would probably lose me) Because i don’t recall the subject of alcohol. But sure as eggs are eggs over breakfast, while arranging it with dad Lauren said

“Mum said we are allowed one drink” (my look resembled a deer in car head lights) Even my eight year old recalled me saying it although he is easily bribed with sweets. The conversation turned to how when they are at home i allow them to drink,well i was not prepared for that card to be used, it made me sound like a terrible mother.Yes they can drink wine with a Sunday lunch, one glass i may add then the list got longer vodka in my crab linguine, Baileys at Christmas champagne on New Years eve. God i had not looked at it like i was doing any harm but according to the gospel of teenagers i have allowed them a privilege and then changed the rules mid game. I was under the illusion that by allowing alcohol in a safe environment they would learn moderation, when in fact all they had really learnt was and i quote “Don’t eat a lot it goes straight to your head woooooooo”  The longest most heated discussion over breakfast we have ever had. I was to blame for my fifteen year old becoming lushes and a terrible mother. My own mother reassured me its what all children do they want to try new things and i haven’t done any harm, the girls are not hanging around the streets,messing with drugs they just want to do what all the other girls at the party are doing. I feel i have been right in the way i have handles the situation and i except that times change, and children are growing up to fast,but i also know that my girls are not about to go and get drunk they just want to be allowed to experiment,and being told no is never what a teenager wants to hear.

Well the party came the girls went they didn’t have a drink but they did dance the night away. I have come to realize that i can set boundaries and yes children will always dance on them.

THE EASIEST PROFITEROLES EVER…..

No more Larkin around now Nigella. I have a spoon in my hand and i am not affraid to use it

I couldn’t believe my eyes on walking into my local store and seeing  Nigella Lawson,Sex Goddess had gone from voluptuous to super model over night….

. So where did  this leave me?? I can tell you now it left me deflated, she captured what most husbands wish there wives could look and cook like, she made it OK to raid the fridge at silly o’clock, it was OK to wear Lycra and have a cleavage(still working on that one) That was not a good day at the supermarket no goodies went into the trolley in fact  i walked around thinking how the hell did she do it, not once did it cross my mind she may have grown tiered of voluptuous and Lycra.

For years to my friends i was known as Ma Larkin (not a name i was happy to be stuck with but it bought with it an endearment, warm house that always smelt of fresh baked foods.

But along came Nigella and there was no more Larkin around!!  That changed friends outlook on me”Oh look what Nigella has cooked” I was happy with that title i can tell you, Lycra stretch dresses and curls sophisticated and cooking!!

“Reality check in the supermarket isle 4 lady having a meltdown” it just hit me and i  realised why they don’t have mirrors in supermarkets, they don’t want us to see what we actually look like even in the clothes isle there is never a mirror.

So i bought the magazine secretly hoping that inside held the secret to immediate weight loss without breaking a sweat, and i took my sorry ass home. I read from cover to cover and fell more in love with Mrs Lawson, she can still cook and looks great she has such passion, so whats a few pounds? She makes a great profiterole desert.

Mental note to self she will have put it back on in a year anyway nobody can cook and eat like she does and be skinny!!!!!

PROFITEROLES,

60 grams of butter,

150 ml of water,

75 grams of plain flour,

2 eggs lightly beaten,

1) Heat the oven to gas mark 7 or 220*c.

2) lightly grease  a large baking sheet and sprinkle with water.

3) In a heavy saucepan heat the butter and water until butter has melted and water just boiling,

4) Remove from the heat and add the sieved flour,beat until it forms a soft ball coming clean away from the edges, allow to cool slightly.

5) Add the eggs a little at a time beating after each addition until you have a smooth glossy paste.

6) Put the mixture into a piping bag ( i use a small nozzle no bigger than my thumb nail about an inch or less,this makes sure your not piping to much air with them.

7) Pipe about a tablespoon size ball on to the baking sheet continue till all the mixture is used.

8) Bake for 10 mins at 220*c then reduce the heat to 180*c gas mark 5 and bake for a further 20 mins until well risen and light golden brown.

Do not be tempted to open the door……….:0 they will rise.

remove from the oven and leave to cool on a wire rack, fill with cream and my chocolate sauce (melted mars bar and or two)

WINTER AND LITTLE FAT FREE DELIGHTS……..

The winter blues have set in, its to cold to go out running the only jobs in the garden are to put things back in place after a storm or clean up after the naughty fox. My days are spent picking up after teenagers, who have no navigation skills the toothpaste ends up on the wall instead of in the sink as for the mirror you cant see a reflection in it, cotton wool in the bin not around it and washing in the basket not near it.So when my cleaning is done i can cook and bake till my hearts content. I have also allowed myself an hour of back to back Sex In The City, nothing like watching beautiful women who can resist carbs for steamed mushrooms, to keep you from reaching for whatever has just been baked.So a bit of adult TV and Vera Wang are helping brighten up my winter blues.

low fat cup cake in the city

IS ANYONE INTERESTED????

A bundle of photos that remind me i enjoyed writing a little blog, so it  would not make top ten reading!!! but gave me an outlet. Something that i enjoy so why is it i jump in the saddle and just as quick i close the laptop and walk away????

I have cake photos to share and lets face it everyone wants to know a good recipe that will make cooking and baking easier and taste great………..

GOOD TO BE BACK???????YES IT IS.

Well what seems like an age away i feel I’m ready to jump back in the saddle.

A small breakdown nothing major that had me running for the gin!!

A small breakdown that had me running into walls and doors that refused to open.

Not being able to please everyone and do as i please has made me a hermit,so i have realised that i cant please everyone and trying to do so makes me unhappy.

And my family can read my blog and disagree with what i write its my blog its my life.I am happy to bake and see my family well fed and a smile as my kids munch on a cookie or a cake they are happy and that’s all that counts,i may no longer fit in my size 12 jeans it doesn’t make me sad my husband loves me…………So i will start where i left of cooking and sharing and writing about my life.

FOR THE LOVE OF DOG……. stay off the herb garden.

A family of animal lovers our weekends revolve around the dogs not that they are ignored through the week not at all, the chance would be a fine thing  you have to be careful with your choice of words you cant say I’m going out  they assume they are coming and the guilt look they give you when you are going out the door is far to much to bare. The slightest inclination that a meal or a walk is on the cards and they will dance around whipping you with there tails.Would i change a thing about them before today i would have said no they are just great but today I’m not happy with a certain BOY who is sat on his bed sulking!

Now woody is great a tad confused about his role in the house hold and is known to us as woody the woos! He looks the part and any intruder would think twice before breaking into the house but looks are where it ends. We had just lost our ridgback who to this day was the love of my life and the gap was so big we walked around in tears for months no great man sat waiting for you when you walked through the door or following the kids around the park making sure they stayed safe he took on the role of guardian all by himself and made our home complete.The whole was getting bigger so i made the call to a number i had. This guy i met while at a farmers market   i know now it was fate. We all bundled into the car to go and see the puppies all so cute, while talking we watched two six month dogs playing in the garden he had kept them for showing but one didn’t make the grade”which one”i asked,”the one shagging his brother“( i needed three other pairs of hands to cover the kids ears and eyes as they all scrambled to see this event)There he was going for gold all we could do was look on,an hour later he was in the back of the car coming home. We never looked back a fantastic dog a tad confused but hey ho!! Now a year ago i rescued a little Jack Russell far to young to be away from her mother and so tiny, she was put of the rug next to woody she nuzzled in to him we are all cooing and woody is fine until she tries to suckle he jumps up “what the heck I’m a man that’s just wrongit feels good but just wrong“To this day she still does it and he has grown to like it and a bond has been made so strong he has allowed her to be  the Alpha  out of sheer love.

So back to today meat balls and not the shop bought now I’m taking homemade fresh herbs and lots of them I’m in love with fresh herbs in the garden i love going out to choose which one i will use and soaking in the smell of EWWWWWW!!! dogs pee how the heck did he get over the gate and why?why? he has his walks why? I’m sure Cesar Millan has the answer but i don’t have him on speed dial and i don’t have fresh herbs. I slam the gate walk into the kitchen he knows!!! and iv not said a word(that dog reads minds) He cant get any lower on his bed not a word is spoken for fear i will say something i cant take back.I rummaged in the cuboard dry herbs it is.

At the table and no one has noticed the lack of freshness the meat balls are eaten and enjoyed so im glad i didnt make a fuss the NEW herbs are now in hanging baskets.

MEATBALLS.

800g of course cut mince

1 slice of bread

1onion(red)

1 pepper

5 slices of salami

2 tablespoons of dried herbs( fresh if you dont have a dog)

SAUCE

6 tomatoes

3 carrots

1 red onion

2 peppers

1 red chili

2 cloves of garlic

handful of mushrooms

olive oil salt and pepper.

Roughly chop everything place in a roasting tin drizzle with oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper and roast till slightly brown and soft.

place the  mince in a large bowl,put the bread into a food blender and blitz into crumbs repeat with the onion and pepper,roughly chop the salami and herbs add to the meat mash with your hands till all the ingredients are blended.Now you make the balls as big or small as you like place in a frying pan and just seal till  a golden brown place in an oven proof dish. When the vegetables for the sauce are ready tip into the blender and pulse you don’t want to completely blitz it now taste and season pour over the meat balls and cook for 40 mins ENJOY!!

I JUST NEED TO BREATH AND HAVE CAKE…….

This easter has to be the longest easter holiday for the kids iv ever known i was pulling my hair out we had done all the activities made all the cakes I was pulling all the short straws in fact the straws where holding my eyelids up exhaustion is an under statement!

Monday came i was in a mad rush as Beau starts his new school the girls huffing and puffing(im now ready to drop kick them all the way to school)  and the moaning as I hit every bump in the road as they try to apply makeup I try not to laugh at the panda eyes laughing is forbidden in the mornings when they have been rushed or i have had to raise my voice when iv had to return to the house for forgetting homework or the “mum i forgot to do some homework”ARRRRRRGH!!

I am a bit miffed aswell as i can no longer wear my pyjamas to school before I just had to stop at the gates and kick let the kids out,now i have a short walk of course I don’t mind it’s all good im just that manic i never have time for myself before 9am i admire  how women can look great at that time in the morning i take my hat of to them, if im honest im a bit lazy on the whole makeup front i hate it unless im going out and then well i could put a drag queen to shame.

Once i have kicked taken them to school i cant wait to get home shut the door and slide down to the floor and hear myself breath “hi im just running the hover round for you”My mum doing her mad cleaning i love it when she’s doing this for me i really do as i can never clean like she does!! Why does she have to do it now I need to breath and I cant im suffocating, this calls for time in the kitchen I need sweet and I need space if she says anything about the ignoring or diets i swear she will get dropped  all the way to the barn.

I  have found a great recipe that the kids love and the guilt for raising my voice and wanting to throttle them i  want them to come home to something nice this is a sweet meringue topping on vanilla sponge its so light a fluffy a real pleaser all the bad moods will be forgotten they always come home happy and starving these are just what they need (who am i kidding its me that needs the cakes) I get a bit carried away and made enough to feed the whole school but I didn’t want to do the ironing I wanted to bake.

VENISON BURGER………whatever!!!!

The prodigal son returns from the hunt yet again with a poor animal over his shoulder we have had to stop saying Bambie or Thumper as Beau wont eat meat anymore,Ben  comes home and regale him with tales on the tracks he followed and how he lay in wait for his prey to cross his path he’s very good at the whole shooting thingy thing he will talk guns till the cows come home(thankfully no cows he would probably kill them) they sit and eat what i can only describe as blaggggh how anyone can eat that in the morning is beyond me,im not a veggie I used to be but i faltered and had  steak now i very rarely have more than chicken

Well Stu and ben have a difference of opinion on shooting the agree to disagree on a lot both always right in their opinion,both stong men who will never back down can be so bloody annoying but i love the fact they have a hobby and they disappear for hours on end which means i get quality time with my books and blog, now they have a new member of the family recruited Katie has joined ranks there goes my idea a daughter wearing pink any shying away from boys i fear my dragging her around shops putting ribbons in her hair has made her rebel until we watched calamity jane and i realised she is a strong independent woman who can shoot and still look gorgeous.

As Ben is away at uni he tries to make the most of it when he comes home and i fear all the woodland creatures dread weekends, bang goes a stroll through the woods with the wife its bad for your health!but as i have said before he thinks of himself as a cowboy and wishes he was the love child of Clint Eastwood(i wish) and John Wayne is his grandfather!!! the truth is he’s so in the love with the idea of a log cabin and a ranch i hope and pray his wish comes true he works hard,and although he shoots he cares for the planet and never kills what he can’t eat. He was  a huge steve Irwin fan and cried for months after he died and to this day he can’t watch anything with steve in without falling apart although that can be said for us all im sure. He is far to sensitive and melts my heart yes at times yes i want to wring his neck he’s not perfect a typical teenage son with issues(Whatever)

Got way of the path here im ment to be writing about his cooking skills he came home and was telling his dad how good he is at cooking and butchering that Stu cut him dead and asked if he’d done his chores i saw Ben’s face a bit deflated he loves his dads approval and sometimes tries a tad to hard to get it…. not defeated though he said he was making lunch and he would call us in when it was ready,well an hour passed as he promised he(smashed a wooden spoon on a frying pan….more cowboy behaviour) well he got his response and Stu was amazed at how well his son had done.